Love comes from the haven we should to take it and spread it to others in the family or the outsides. Sometimes we are facing more complication to take it or dare to it.
As we teach Family Constellations (memory therapy using interpersonal and behavioral family systems), if a woman has not taken and has forgiven her father, it is difficult to establish a healthy relationship with a man. Also if a man has not taken and has forgiven his mother, he will struggle to mate with a female.
Sometimes when we dare to love, we invent an idea the other and raised a large stone wall to protect: it is easier to convince the other is the prototype we have imagined, to go to him and look at his truth.